Go Phish

Recently, I was the target of a Phishing scam via Craig's List. I had applied to a general posting for a Personal Assistant. One day later, I received a reply. Despite the email's broken English, the Scammer managed to flesh out a fantastic-sounding character in my mind - so much so, that for half a second, I actually believed it.

The email was from an elderly gentleman named Gregory. Gregory was 65 years old. He had been in the shipping industry for over three decades. He got his start unloading cargo on the piers of New York City, eventually rising to the level of Vice President at a successful import/export company.

Gregory was looking for a new assistant. His former assistant had unexpectedly returned to his homeland. According to Gregory, he was a very efficient employee, a fellow that had started as a subordinate and later morphed into his right-hand man. While Gregory would miss his assistant, he was a busy man with many obligations. His schedule needed managing and, flatteringly enough, he believed that I was the right person for the job. My first task was a test to ensure my reliability. I needed to cash a check at a bank and then use the money to buy toys for children at a local orphanage. One of Gregory's primary joys in life was giving. He loved to see these poor children smile when they received his presents. He went on to claim that if I had any questions, I was to direct them to his email. Phone contact with him was impossible because he was partially deaf. Also, he was traveling abroad at the moment. Nevertheless, such complications were not to deter me from my duties. The kids needed me, afterall.

Gregory knew me well. I WAS feeling discouraged by all of the job's complex urgency. As if to reassure me further, he ended the note with a dose of further encouragement:

"I have inkling you will be great. If you give me your best efforts, I will promise to be a good boss and treat you with respect. Good compensation will be coming your way for sure. We will grow to be friends!"