Queen Vick Mix

I went on vacation to NY State and Canada. The trip was nine hours long. In order to keep from having to revert to mind-numbing car games like "License Plate Alphabet" or "Highway I-Spy," I made a playlist. The method by which I complied the playlist was extremely scientific and based on a set of predetermined criteria:

1. Songs about being on the road

2. Songs about Canada/by Canadian artists

3. Songs about getting away from home

4. Songs about returning home

5. Songs that can be danced to using the upper half of your body only, without being strangled by a seatbelt

6. Songs that are introspective for long spurts of barren landscapes

7. Songs that are joyful and could signal the approach of a destination

Here are a few highlights:

- Keep the Car Running by Arcade Fire

- Good Times (Sick Pimpin') by Atmosphere

- When She Comes Home by Deer Tick

- A New Part Of Town by Matt Pond

- Hop a Plane by Tegan and Sara

- Miles Away by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs

- This Time Tomorrow by the Kinks

- You Turn Me On I'm A Radio by Joni Mitchell

- Sleepytime in the Western World by Blitzen Trapper

- Walkin' Up The Road by Betty Davis

- I Gotta Move by Ben Kweller

- More Adventurous by Rilo Kiley

- Passenger's Seat by Death Cab For Cutie

I am still trying to sort out my thoughts on the whole Canadian experience.

(Are there really moose here and if so, where are they hiding them? Why can't I wear my sunglasses while crossing the border? How is their maple syrup different from Aunt Jemima?) However, my memories of the trip will never be relived as a silent pan. Instead, they will flash in time with a killer soundtrack.

Go Phish

Recently, I was the target of a Phishing scam via Craig's List. I had applied to a general posting for a Personal Assistant. One day later, I received a reply. Despite the email's broken English, the Scammer managed to flesh out a fantastic-sounding character in my mind - so much so, that for half a second, I actually believed it.

The email was from an elderly gentleman named Gregory. Gregory was 65 years old. He had been in the shipping industry for over three decades. He got his start unloading cargo on the piers of New York City, eventually rising to the level of Vice President at a successful import/export company.

Gregory was looking for a new assistant. His former assistant had unexpectedly returned to his homeland. According to Gregory, he was a very efficient employee, a fellow that had started as a subordinate and later morphed into his right-hand man. While Gregory would miss his assistant, he was a busy man with many obligations. His schedule needed managing and, flatteringly enough, he believed that I was the right person for the job. My first task was a test to ensure my reliability. I needed to cash a check at a bank and then use the money to buy toys for children at a local orphanage. One of Gregory's primary joys in life was giving. He loved to see these poor children smile when they received his presents. He went on to claim that if I had any questions, I was to direct them to his email. Phone contact with him was impossible because he was partially deaf. Also, he was traveling abroad at the moment. Nevertheless, such complications were not to deter me from my duties. The kids needed me, afterall.

Gregory knew me well. I WAS feeling discouraged by all of the job's complex urgency. As if to reassure me further, he ended the note with a dose of further encouragement:

"I have inkling you will be great. If you give me your best efforts, I will promise to be a good boss and treat you with respect. Good compensation will be coming your way for sure. We will grow to be friends!"