Fighting Words Part II

In my last post, I described a fabulous Avoidance technique that recently has been used a great deal in order to avoid arguments with my Mom. I wish to follow up that remark with yet another procedure to add to one's arson of discourse skills. Sometimes the Avoidance tactic ("I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT ANYMOORREEE!") doesn't do the trick. Frequently this is because the phrase is not utilized early enough in the conversation to quell the heat. In these situations, it is good to have an argument back-up plan to cut the subsequent awkwardness of future interactions that occur pre -make up (i.e. encounters at the dinner table, encounters in the living room, encounters in the hallway. . . if you are unfortunate enough to live with the person.) I will call technique two the Smack Talk Tension Reliever.

Steps:

1. Approach wronged/irritated individual
2. Start to say, "You make me so mad. . ."
3. Followed by a detailed description of an aggressive yet outlandish act
4. Encourage wronged/irritated individual to reciprocate
5. Hug each other

Examples of Potential Aggressive Yet Outlandish Acts:

"You make me so mad I am going to get you in the scissor hold and flick your earlobes until you whimper for mercy."

"You make me so mad I am going to punch your kneecaps with my thumb knuckles until they are red and chapped."

"You make me so mad I am going to pin you down, cram my big toe into your navel and dangle my bangs in your mouth."

The reason the Smack Talk Tension Reliever works is two-fold. First, it allows both parties to express hostility without physical contact. Secondly, it infuses humor into an otherwise humorless situation. Cracking a smile is the beginning step on the road to reconciliation.